Thursday, March 23, 2006

Family Wedding

My brother Ed, is getting married to his girlfriend, E in May.

With this marriage, we have secured the best surrogate parents, super babysitters for Shane and Alix. This is why they are better versions of Shane and Alix’s real parents.

a)When they go out for dates, they often ask if they can bring Shane along. Why in heavens would a dating couple want to lug a 2 year old, eat at family friendly restaurants, plan their activities around naps, when they are supposed to be on a romantic outing, I don’t know. We just pack the diaper bag - in a hurry.

b)They've spent hours pc-loading the entire Thomas the Tank engine series and Wallace and Gromit series on DVD to entertain them.

c)When E carries Alix in the shopping mall, walking behind, I get jealous…you know those annoying women who post natally, regain their figures in a zip and still manage to look glamourous? E looks just like one of those flat bellied women, casually balancing a baby on her lap.

Imagine that after I lose my post natal weight, I’ll get closer to looking like Gwyneth Paltrow too, carrying Apple. Heh.

d)They have adequate sleep ergo, boundless energy and patience.

e)Generally, they possess a killer set of parenting skills including getting the babies to sit still on their high chairs, entertain them with their favourite videos, cute songs and games and feeding them variety of nutritious food such as freshwater fish which they will specially go marketing for.

After an entire afternoon with Ed and E, Shane comes back looking happy and slightly lost having landed back at reality. It soon becomes apparent that his real parents are boring him. That’s when, I try my best to console him.

“Sorry, its just us, your real parents. The set God gave you. There’s nothing you can do about it.”


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