Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Faking it until we make it

After a long time of non-attendance, the kids and I attended church on Sunday.

This is of course a paradox. While I would like them to raise them with an understanding of God, there is little that I can convey to them personally about God apart from what I know about Him - which is very little and impregnated with doubt.

For if I knew God really well then I would be a much more committed follower.

Then I would have a lot more faith.

When my father was told that he had months to live, I wanted him to accept Christ (without even knowing whole heartedly what that meant). If my faith wasn’t on fire, then how could I convince someone to believe? All I knew was that l wanted my father in heaven. I purchased a magazine entitled “Jesus” and tried to get up to speed. The understanding I had was academic. I couldn’t sell it without the ingrained belief.

This wasn’t cramming for an exam. I couldn’t bluff my way through.

….

The kids are too young to see that their mom is a fake and call my bluff.

They do as they are told, with child-like innocence.

“Before you eat, put your hands together like this. Close your eyes and say thank you Jesus for the food.”

“Thank you Jesus for the food” [eyes shut, fingers clasped]

And for a moment there, I think we’ve made it.

2 Comments:

Anonymous ivan said...

When I used to do camps for kids, we got them to sing this at every meal:

"Thank you for the world so sweet
Thank you for the food we eat
Thank you for the birds that sing
Thank you God for everything
Amen"

It's a start.

8:48 AM  
Blogger carrie said...

ivan - amen to that and the good food we eat :)

1:35 AM  

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