Tuesday, December 27, 2005


True providence was on us this Christmas and I have spaghetti to prove it.

Despite telling everyone "No, we can't entertain you. We are at home with the babies and we're not going out.", friends and family came bearing gifts and spaghetti. We have sphaghetti to last for days!

Hey, I'm even blogging!

Monday, December 19, 2005

The moment of truth approaches

Grace goes back in 3 days.

She’s packing her clothes, nail polishing her toes and doing her last minute shopping while I put up a brave front and wonder:

a) Should I start preparing frozen meals?
b) Where’s everything kept?
c) Hmm. I’ve stopped packing Shane’s school bag. Wonder what goes in there.
d) What if I go nuts and the kids scream non-stop for Grace to return? Yes, I want her back too!

Anyhoo, this is what happened in New York last month. We spent 4 days there from Saturday evening to Tuesday night. Yeah, we should have stayed longer to make it worth the long flight there but we were flying on Gary’s working pattern on the FREE TICKET. We didn’t go to many places. We didn’t see the Statue of Liberty. We took the train from our hotel and hung mostly with Gary’s friends who work in trendy street fashion shops.

I saw so many sneaker shoe shops and cutting edge street and hip hop fashion....it came to a point I yelled "I dont want anymore black man shops! I want to go to WHITE WOMAN shops! Pottery Barn, Barnes & Noble, Gap!

Eating highlights:
a) The biggest meatballs on spaghetti in the Italian eatery
b) The biggest pancakes with syrup at the late night diner.
c) The biggest pastrami sandwich at the Jewish diner where they filmed the fake orgasm scene in Harry Met Sally. (All the native New Yorkers avoided that table, but I insisted on sitting there.)

On Sunday evening, we were invited to gary's friend's place in Long Island (1 hour drive from NY). I had a chance to see the houses in the suburbs and we had homemade dinner with black american folks. Mac and cheese and roasted ribs, plus decadent cherry pie!

On the last day, we devoted the whole day in the FAO Schwartz, the world's largest toy store. Shane was transfixed to the Thomas the Tank Engine train display along with the other small boys and their nannies who watched over with bored disinterest. I was very proud when he started chiding the other little boys who shoved him around in his clearest Singapore accent “Cannot like that push!”.

At times, Shane was so tired he wailed "I want to go home. I want to see Alix!". He liked the cold though. When we bundled him in the winter jacket, he would say "ARE YOU READY FOR THE COLD!". He slept through most meals so we packed pancakes for him and he asked for it when he woke up in the middle of the night still on Singapore timing.

My best moment: Loafing in the big ass hotel bed and watching trashy American tv with my 2 favourite guys.


Thank you for visiting me on my blog over the Christmas season. Don't visit me at home though. Gary and I will be kung fu hustling, uh, the kids by ourselves. Very ineptly. Happy Christmas! May your days be merry and bright :)

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Faking it until we make it

After a long time of non-attendance, the kids and I attended church on Sunday.

This is of course a paradox. While I would like them to raise them with an understanding of God, there is little that I can convey to them personally about God apart from what I know about Him - which is very little and impregnated with doubt.

For if I knew God really well then I would be a much more committed follower.

Then I would have a lot more faith.

When my father was told that he had months to live, I wanted him to accept Christ (without even knowing whole heartedly what that meant). If my faith wasn’t on fire, then how could I convince someone to believe? All I knew was that l wanted my father in heaven. I purchased a magazine entitled “Jesus” and tried to get up to speed. The understanding I had was academic. I couldn’t sell it without the ingrained belief.

This wasn’t cramming for an exam. I couldn’t bluff my way through.


The kids are too young to see that their mom is a fake and call my bluff.

They do as they are told, with child-like innocence.

“Before you eat, put your hands together like this. Close your eyes and say thank you Jesus for the food.”

“Thank you Jesus for the food” [eyes shut, fingers clasped]

And for a moment there, I think we’ve made it.